Im alone in my house,dad’s away and maid not in.
I should be happy,but I cant
Apparently my handbag still no where to be in sight,
most of my family members had already said it shld be lost.
She said I cant be trusted anymore to handle expensive things and all those stuff
Usually I answered her back,
But this time the tears tt was flowing stopped me from talking for a sec.
Then I answered her,since I cant hold back any more tears in me.
But her reply was utterly heart breaking.
Even so I accept her sayings.
I cant understand,but I begin to.
For the fact that people doesnt like me for the real me,real behaviour,real attitude.
deep inside,I really wanted to be the kind of person tts my mum will like even if
I have to be -sadly– someone else.
Im trying to be,every now and then.
But I seems to fall thru my way there.
I really wanted to smile,but I had to sigh.
Now my chances is draining from 50% become 15%
Finally I have realised the feeling of ppl who have commited suicide
Maybe this is a lesson that taught me sth tt I nv realise
I wish this shall be my last time experiencing it.
‘It’ didnt hurt much when I tried to describe it here,
but’ it’ already bleeds as I type it
I shall change,for the better
Even if I had to lost the real me